Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
