Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
