we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
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He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
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I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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