but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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