I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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