i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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