party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
