can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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