Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
