Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
