How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
