Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
do herpes really smell.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
