i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Randomize