dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize