THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
