i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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