Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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