I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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