I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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