you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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