Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
