Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
