I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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