There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
