im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize