I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
