I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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