Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
sex in a hospital.. check
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
