I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
