Nicole vs. Life
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well you can't waste a boner
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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