She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
