she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
