Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
