gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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