The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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