Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
