Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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