What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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