So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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