How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
