What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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