i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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