So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize