He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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