Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
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I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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