Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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