I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
