You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
