seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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