You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Farmville is her only friend.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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