I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
