You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
