Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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