pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The power of my boobs compel you
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
