Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
