dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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