put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
