Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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