i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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