From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
