Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Mom said you looked used
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!