no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone