If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.