dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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