Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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